Teaching Values

Studies have shown that by teaching values and practicing good morals, people become more successful in life, and even more - happier.

I believe that at the core of all of us is goodness, kindness, integrity, and decency. But, there are lots of obstacles and challenges that get in the way of our good intentions.

The world seems to be turned upside down. We need basic values more than ever before.

Values determine our choices and actions. Teaching values gives family members a foundation that will provide a moral guide to help our children make better choices on their own.

10 Values That Are The Most Valuable of Personal Traits

One of my children, at age 16, took a wrong turn. He was headed down a road of self-destruction.

He dropped out of school, moved to another state, and became a hippie.. a pot smoking, long-haired, shoeless, homeless hippie. This was in the early 90’s. (He says his feet are paying for those shoeless days now.)

During that time I was able visit him a few times. I lived in northern Utah and he was living in Bellingham Washington. The miles didn’t matter, I had to see my son. I knew he appreciated those visits.

The thing that I was most grateful for is that he knew I loved him. At his darkest moments he would call home. One time it was 2:00 am on a Sunday morning. We talked for an hour or so. He began the conversation by telling me he didn’t want to live any more. He ended it with “thanks mom, I love you.”

I’m grateful I understood the danger of co-dependency. It would have been so easy to try to protect him from the consequences of his actions.

He checked himself into drug rehab at the age of 20. He returned home, got his GED (equivalency of a high school diploma) and was hired at a drug rehab facility for troubled teenage boys.

He married at age 33, and at the time of this writing, he is going to college studying for a Masters Degree in Psychology and works as an assistant supervisor at a youth facility for sex offenders, boys ages 12-18.

We can start with the habit of showing love in our homes. But love is far-reaching. We can touch the lives of many.

My mother told me of an instance when she had purchased a bag of grapes and unwittingly began eating them while she continued to shop. When she arrived at the check stand, she told the grocery clerk what she had done and asked to be charged for the 6 or 7 grapes she had eaten. The store clerk told her not to worry about it. But the clerk didn’t know my mother.

My mother, being the most honest person I know, insisted the clerk come up with an amount, which ended up being pocket change. Mother left the store with a clear conscience.

Teach your children that it sometimes takes courage to tell the truth, but if they will, they can feel good that they don’t have anything to hide; there’s no need to try to keep the story straight because it’s always the same story - the truth.

Teaching values of honesty should include telling our children to do what they say they will do and that their word is their bond.

We hear often about the “modern morality,” which many believe gives them more freedom.

I believe that instead of freedom, immorality brings only regret, sorrow, loss of self-respect, and in some cases, tragedy.

We live at a time of powerful, degrading media influences that are literally available 24/7, to adults and children alike.

Pornography had been determined to be more addictive than crack and is extremely dangerous.

We don’t notice the effect of these influences all at once. But, it chips away little by little until we are insensitive to its evil influences.

And lastly, develop an open line of communication with your child about sex discussing those things that are appropriate for their age. Do this sooner rather than later. They will hear all about it from someone, somewhere.

As with most things, kids are curious, and if you wait until puberty, you’re way too late!

Viewing sexual entertainment will eventually create familiarity, then tolerance, and finally, acceptance.

Fortunately, there are still many people who are courteous, polite, and considerate of others. But you don’t have to look far to see the lack of civility in our society.

I've never had any use for cussing. I told one of my sons that with all of the words in the English language, there simply isn't a need to use swear words.

Civility is the ability to speak, have a conversation, and communicate effectively. It is a valuable asset, both personally and professionally.

As civilized people, we can teach our families about showing kindness and caring toward others, no matter what the circumstances or situations are.

It doesn’t matter how old we are, we can and should continue to learn. This provides us with growth, progress, and improvement.

We never know what the future will bring. An education, even an ongoing education, will provide you with peace of mind in knowing that you have prepared yourself for the unexpected.

In some high schools, less than 50% of teens graduate. This affects America’s ability to compete in the workplace. Everyone suffers when our high schools fail. Kids are more likely to get into trouble, too many ending up in jail. Around 40% of state prison inmates are high school dropouts.

Children who are exposed to books early in life have an advantage throughout their life. That’s huge. All it takes is spending a few minutes a day, at first, reading to your child.

By teaching values of learning your child will come to understand that they can do what they want to do in life by being able to read. And that’s huge, too.

The whole world has a need for forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. They are at the core of goodness.

These qualities are needed in our homes where tiny molehills of misunderstanding can often turn into endless bickering. This leads to family members sometimes hanging onto old disagreements for years; sadly for some, a lifetime.

Forgiving another can be very difficult. It seems easier to hold onto anger, a grudge, pride, or whatever else it is that is weighing us down.

In the book, How To Forgive When You Can’t Forget, written by Charles Klein, he says:

“Forgiveness is knowing that something happened which made us furious and then deciding, in spite of everything, to deny anger its power.”

And therein lays the problem with the world. It is full of angry people wrecking havoc all over the place!

Teaching values of forgiveness and mercy will help us begin to change, to be more forgiving in our own homes.

“Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friend.” (Henry Ward Beecher)

Why would thrift and industry be included as a value? Without labor and thrift, our nation, communities, and families are weakened. Work and thrift is what makes the family independent.

Growing up on a farm, I learned how to work at a young age. I’m sure it wasn’t until I became an adult that I learned the tremendous value this was for me.

No matter where you live, provide your children with opportunities to work at home. Cleaning up after themselves and having household chores is an excellent place to start.

We live in a wasteful generation. It’s never too late to have a chat with your family, perhaps during a family home evening, and decide together how to become less wasteful, more resourceful, and how you can help more at home.

Look around you and see what is going on in the world. No one knows when emergencies will hit, whether it’s caused by a natural disaster or a personal crisis.

You can begin now to get your house in order. Avoid or get out of debt. Set aside money for the unexpected. Start a food storage plan. Become wise and cautious with your personal finances and in your expenditures.

Yes, teaching values of work and thrift are important to the stability of a healthy society, family, and individual.

Gratitude is where civility, decency, and goodness begin. We don’t have to look far to see people without a job, many living in poverty without the basic necessities of life.

Often times, it’s selfish, arrogant, and usually miserable people in the world who lack gratitude. Maybe they don’t realize all they have to be thankful for.

Children especially need to be taught the value of gratitude. Too many live in a world of “easy come, easy go.”

Teach by example and involve your children in providing service to others. This will bless them with a desire to help others throughout their lives. Love and gratitude for others, even for life itself, is nurtured through service.

My husband and I were driving to another city one spring day, and I looked up at the hillside that had been badly burned several months before. I said, “Look at the green grass growing on that hillside.” My husband said, “And I was just noticing all of the blackness left from the fire.”

There is so much goodness going on in the world today. So, isn’t it a shame that our news broadcasts are mostly about “bad” things that have happened.

Experiencing ongoing negativity has serious repercussions. This negativity grows and begins to influence attitudes, outlook, and even values.

We certainly can’t be naive or ignore the challenges we are faced with, because we do have problems that must be addressed.

Let me suggest a few ideas that can help us turn from the negativism that is so prevalent in our culture today:

Teach your children to love life, and that in spite of the challenges that will surely come, there is joy and adventure in the journey.

You might be thinking - does this lady ever feel down, get angry, say something she shouldn’t have? Absolutely! But, since teaching values was so important to my mother, I cling to these values that I learned growing up. This has made a tremendous difference in my life.

If we are going to find success and fulfillment in our life, we need faith. It’s faith that gives me so much hope. Faith and hope sustain me. Hope means that tomorrow will be a better day; the sun will shine again.

““Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley)

I believe in prayer. I don’t believe we can become successful without it. I believe that prayer is the vehicle that opens the window of faith and hope to bless our lives.

Abraham Lincoln said, “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the over-whelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.”

I believe there isn’t anything that can bind families closer together than by taking the time to pray as a family.

And, you know what? I don’t think it’s so much that God needs our prayers, but that we do.