Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting is a way of making parenting more rewarding, effective, and fun! A great way for that to happen is to make sure it’s shared responsibility between each parent.
When each parent agrees, by showing mutual respect, the family core is more consistent and secure. This unity creates the foundation for our families.

Positive parenting can be done by a single mom or dad, even though it is more difficult. In this case, it’s even more critical to make sure your child feels safe and sound, no matter where they are living.

Following are "9 POSITIVE PARENTING TIPS" you can use as a guide:

1. Teach by Example - The behavior that a person has learned by example during his early years has a powerful influence on his behavior the rest of his life.

As parents, we start our children on a path that will influence them through each stage of their development.

As our children grow up, their own choices will result in the consequences of a good or bad example; they will most often respond to the example they saw while growing up.

To the best of your ability, use the power of positive parenting by being a praiseworthy example.

2. Be Consistent in Your Behavior - We aren't perfect. Our desire is to react with calmness to spilled milk, a bad grade in school, or getting home past curfew after a party. We sometimes become angry.

It is to consistently work at responding in a positive way. If we can consistently react in the spirit of love, sooner or later we can overcome, or at least minimize, our weaknesses.

Furthermore, I think that if we could watch a video of ourselves while blowing our top at one of our children, we could, (1) see how ridiculous we look, and (2) see and hopefully realize the heartbreaking effect our anger has on our child.

3. Counsel Your Children - To counsel with your children means to listen to them, give them advice, and teach them.

This is very important, because as your children grow up, your words become almost as important as your example; and we know how important that is!

During these positive parenting “teaching” moments, you can prepare them to make wise decisions, answer their questions, and help them understand the things they see in the world.

During a council, you and your child should discuss, listen, and try to reach positive agreements.

Your counsel should never be given rudely or harshly, although you must sometimes be firm as you deal with children who may be rebellious.

Our children are responsible for their own behavior. Positive parenting can give them clear counsel to guide them, but if they choose unwisely, they must feel the load of their decision, and at times, the pain of their mistake.

4. Don’t Judge Too Harshly - As a parent, it is your role to pass judgments on your children, followed by necessary correction. Don't take this positive parenting responsibility lightly.

Correction, or appropriate discipline, should always be from a desire to help your child learn from their mistake or misbehavior. Without excusing or minimizing the problem, you can react with concern, sincerity, and provide practical steps to correct and make this a positive learning experience for your child.

It's always important to recognize what your child has done right rather than on focusing on what they might have done wrong.

In all situations, do your best to use compassionate judgment and assure your child they are loved.

5. Provide a Positive Emotional Climate - The emotional climate in the home will determine either a positive or a negative learning environment.

Is it warm, comfortable, secure; or is there too much thunder, lightning, and cold?

At times, a teaching moment will include feelings of tension and anxiety.

This is most likely one of those “try, try again” situations, because we are human. But, if we want to have effective teaching moments, the “feeling” needs to be right, and this occurs when the climate in our relationships are loving, peaceful and respectful.

6. Have Family Home Evenings Regularly - One way to get rid of a gloomy “forecast” in your home is to consistently spend quality time learning and having fun together.

There is no better place to teach and learn about life, love, and sex than in the home. (Note: You must know that your children are learning about sex outside of your home. To ensure they are getting the correct and appropriate information, you must talk to them about this sensitive topic.)

Of course, when the whole family is participating, discussions should be age appropriate.

Additionally, any family home evening activities are determined by the age of your children.

There is no better place to deal with the concerns of our children than in a positive parenting attitude of love; because, love encourages our children to listen to those they know and can trust.

7. Share Your Thoughts and Feelings - Children, like adults, need to share what’s going on in their lives. They enjoy telling us of their successes, but they also need the comfort of a caring listener to talk about their failures.

Just as your children need to be able to come to you with honest and trusting information, you need to share yourself with your children.

For instance:

Share why you do what you do. One day they may be parents too and will need to understand why you decide as you do, why you act as you do, and how you feel as a parent.

Share your goals for them and for your family. This will help them better understand your actions.

Share your values. You could say something like, “The most precious things in my life are my family. This gives me a reason to get up every morning and try to do my best.”

Share the experiences of your life and your life history, e.g. early family life, jobs, friends, and interesting events. Keep a journal where you can share your ideas and actions with your posterity.

Share humor or stories.

Share your time and activities, such as private moments, vacations, fishing trips, hobbies, music, art, etc. This will create a bond and encourage communication with your children.

8. Break the Routine - Parents need an occasional break. Because parenthood requires so much time and energy, you and your children will benefit from regular breaks in the routine.

Dates for mom and dad; one-on-one dates with a child; weekends with a relative or friends for the children; encourage personal time for each family member with a book, a hobby, or a household chore; and some form of recreation are very important in keeping perspective and emotional balance.

You need time for yourselves, even though you are expected to devote yourselves deeply in your family.

9. Express Your Love - Love is the most powerful incentive in teaching the basic values of life. Your children must know that you love them.

You can learn positive parenting. But, there are no guarantees about the outcome.

As parents, keep two things in mind:

1. Make every effort to love, understand, teach, and set a example; and,
2. Do not condemn yourself, when in spite of your best efforts, your child chooses to follow wrong paths.

Children have their own agency. We can teach each child with the same amount of love, but we must not become discouraged or give up on a child who makes bad choices.

I personally know of the sweet, joyous emotion from the turn-around of a child who was lost. I know that love made all the difference, along with an abundance of prayers.

Parents also make mistakes! It’s never too late to reach out to a child.

Do your best in your desire of positive parenting and continue doing it. You can expect to have success with your family.

One final thought... Nowhere is the power of suggestion stronger than with kids. Healthy positive thinking can help you raise healthy children. Learn how the "Law of Attraction" can fit in.

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